Delusion #1

Posted in Uncategorized on January 5, 2012 by Pockets

I believe that God created humanity to feed his own need for nurturing. Before he had his epiphany, he was one. Whole. He was all that there was and that’s all that there was. No beginning, no end. Just a perfectness unquestioned and indescribable. But in his singular perfection only the truly divine could find fault. In his sole understanding of time he decide one was not enough, so he changed. He became many. All. He stretched out his grace and created space. He solidified his will and matter was made. He filled the emptiness that was not himself with himself, giving birth to the universe… and that was just opening the box. What he had really realized was his own need for love. See as one perfect thing, alone and unnoticed, your own self-appreciation becomes pride and he knew this to be limiting. Surely something as righteous and divine as he should have someone to adore him. But not as one equal loves another, for he could have no equal. So he sat out to create the conscious, the only of which we as men and women can claim to be.

But the creator didn’t stack the deck. He tossed a seed as far as he could (which given the power of said Almighty is presumably very far) and quickly hid his face from his children. For what good is adoration if it is demanded? He made us in his image, save for one key trait; his undying grace. For only the lone divine can shine forever.

So we grew to civility and in our days honor him with our imitations of his ways and he feeds. He feeds on our love for him, our need and want. He is enriched by our belief and faith in his boundless wisdom. For how else is the one perfect thing to grow, but to experience love. And in doing so he has proven himself more divine than even he knew. his grace grows and expands endlessly, his might ever strengthened. To imagine existence this way is the only way that makes sense to me.

It this still is not the end of the story. For what sense is there in having something to seek you when you would not be found. Would a loving god flit about existence, hiding under a new rock every day. What point in being sought, to never be found. His divine plan has always been for us to one day find, and maybe even to understand him. No, not as individuals, but maybe as a people. For what is more enriching than to bring about an entire civilization to know you, love you, accept and understand you and to recognize you as you embrace them, joining him in his divinity.

This is what I believe. Trust, it is not gleaned from short thought and shallow consideration. To me it would be the beginning to the only way this all can be explained. To think that humanity is a fluke seems the epitome of foolish thinking and truly insulting to a perfection that surely made us more observant. Will my life be what I want of it? Maybe not. But it comforts me to know that I am part of a greater plan. That I am a player in an infinite tapestry of life that is destined to reach the doorstep of the creator. Some would say I am fooling myself. I would say, Then let me be fooled”.

Posted in Uncategorized on October 12, 2011 by Pockets

I have gestated for far took long. Over cooked and under seasoned, I have sat gathering dust and information for an undefined goal. Thankfully, the chrysalis is cracking. A ray of light falls upon me, growing brighter as we speak. I am warmed and nurtured by it. It is the same light that nurtures many of you and it is pleasing.

My words are so important to me and I realize how careless I have been holding them at bay when not lashing them carelessly about. To wrangle ones own tongue is a humbling task. My heart call me to do it. My soul urges me to step out of the cocoon. And I feel ready, so very ready. But there are changes yet to be made. Changes within me. I’ve been told change is good. Do I know that to be true?

We all have our issues. We all must at the very least take effort to ignore our failings and proceed with false ignorance. But to turn and confront that which you despise most about yourself, to look it in the eye and say I’m sorry, then to send it packing… this is when we find our way. Everything is a habit and I will endeavor to make a new one.

I used to be a role model. I used to be someone whom others looked up to. It was not my intent. I knew what was right and I did so for the simple fact. What happened to that boy? Is he somewhere within this misguided man?

… yes, that is a silly question. It’s time to introduce them to each other. The boy had it together. The man could learn from him.

Hello world!

Posted in Uncategorized on October 12, 2011 by Pockets

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